Seven Practical Tips for Encouraging Your Pastor to Discuss the Topics of Unplanned Pregnancies and Abortion from the Pulpit

​Modified from Josh Brahm, July 2, 2018; Lifenews.com ,One Thing Every Pastor Can Do to Prevent Abortions in Their Congregation

​If you’re in a church, your pastor is likely overwhelmed and already has dozens of congregants coming to him with things they want him to do, and some of those things are more important than others.  The following is a list of responses and practical tips compiled from interviews with pastors, priests, and bishops about this topic.
1.  Have the Conversation in Private
​If you try to make this meeting happen spontaneously after church on Sunday, it could easily look to passersby that you’re confronting him, and that will be distracting to them. Just like people who are debating on public Facebook comment threads are going to be naturally paying attention to how they come across to others, a person being confronted in public will be distracted by that, too.  Ask to meet with the pastor sometime over coffee or in his office where that distraction won’t be happening.  It’s a sign of respect.
​2.  Come to the Meeting with Humility
Most pastors are personally pro-life, but they may struggle with knowing how best to minister to the people in their flock who have had abortions.  As already mentioned, many of them are facing all kinds of problems, so sometimes it might not be as much apathy that is causing them to be silent but being overwhelmed and not feeling like they have the energy to fight that particular battle. They also may feel that they can’t make much of a difference about abortion anyway, and if they try to fight that battle it will only divide some of the people in their church.

Therefore, don’t come to the meeting with a stack of books and an attitude of telling him what to do.  Instead, your attitude ought to be one of humbly expressing the desire for the church to do what it can to prevent women in the church from feeling subtly pressured into having abortions because of what they imagine the negative reaction from the church may be to their pregnancy.

Make it explicit that you’re not coming to lecture them.  You’ve merely been thinking about the problem of abortions happening within the church and that you’ve been wondering if maybe some churches could be more proactive in preventing that by taking this approach.
Maybe even express sympathy for the fact that many pastors have had annoying conversations with pro-life activists who come with a list of things that they think the pastor ought to be doing or else he’s not “really pro-life.”  Make it clear that that’s not your attitude and that you just want to get their thoughts on an idea you’ve been mulling over. You should also express openness about the best way to execute this idea at your specific church.  You’re wanting his ideas.
​3.  Ask if There Is Already a Church Policy on What Would Happen to a Woman in the Parish/Youth Group if She Became Pregnant
​Is there a policy, spoken or unspoken, that she would be asked to stop attending Mass or the youth group?  If not, have the members of the parish been told this?  Given that a scared and confused mother may get an abortion because she is not sure, isn't it worth it to simply tell the faithful, even if some question such an announcement?  If so, why does such a policy exist?
​4.  Make It Clear That You Realize That What a Pregnant Teen May Imagine Would Happen Is Probably a Lot Worse Than What Would Actually Happen
​You’re not necessarily saying that a pregnant teen’s fears are based on any specific reality but by simply proactively communicating this, it makes it a lot harder for a person to expect a harsh reaction from the church leadership that wouldn’t have actually happened anyway.

If you can even name specific examples where the pastors had a lot of grace in the way that he dealt with outsiders or church members caught up in sin, talk about that.  You’ve been merely wondering if more churches went above and beyond to communicate about this before a pregnancy happens, if that would have a really positive effect on a woman in the church if she does become pregnant out of wedlock.
5.  Tell a Story  ​
Make it clear that you don’t think your church’s leadership would treat unwed mothers badly, but that this is a common experience in other churches, and that that uncertainty scares pregnant women into silence and abortion.  An actual testimony like the following from a woman who could be a member of your parish might help the pastor to emotionally connect with the problem:

“Twenty years ago I had my abortion, the week before I had my abortion, I was sitting in my seat in my pew at my church. The week after my abortion I was sitting in my pew at my church.  For the last twenty years, I’ve sat in that same seat, in the same pew. Never once has there been a message in our church offering hope and healing, and as a result, I assumed [abortion] must not only be the unspeakable sin, but therefore it must be the unforgivable sin.”
​
6.  Present This as an Opportunity for the Pastor to Be Able to Say Something Brief about Abortion in a Way That Shows How Much He Loves His Flock ​
​Some pastors and parish priests are just more skittish than others about talking about this issue from the pulpit.  Many of them fear that it will come across as “getting political” with their sermon.  This is understandable, as abortion does come up in every election.  However, even more important, it is a moral issue -- it’s both.

Many of these same pastors and parish priests care a lot about being a Jesus-like shepherd to their congregation. So while they may not want to preach about abortion every Sanctity of Life Sunday or host a pro-life event, they very well may be open to this idea, because it is a proactively loving and grace-filled thing to do.  It will also probably make others within the church a lot happier because they will see their pastor doing something about abortion.
7.  Offer to Help with Practical Stuff like Throwing the Baby Shower 
​A lot of pastors have a reflexive and reasonable reaction to a congregant bringing an idea to the leadership -- “Sounds great. How about you lead that?”  Obviously a core part of this idea does need to come from the pastor, but are there any practical things you can take off his plate? Taking over the baby shower is an obvious part of this that the pastor doesn’t need to be personally responsible for.  Offering to take pregnant women in the church to the local Pregnancy Resource Center so that they have the option of a friend walking them through the whole process is another way to be the hands and feet of Christ in this situation.
“ Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.  Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.  May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host - by the Divine Power of God - cast into hell, Satan and all the evil spirits, who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.  Amen.”  
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
Respect Life Office ~ Diocese of Kansas City - St. Joseph  ~ 20 West Ninth Street ~ Kansas City, MO 64105 ~ ​(816) 756-1850 ~ francis@diocesekcsj.org